Teaching Your Inner Child About Money: Healing the First Financial Wounds

Most of us don’t remember the exact moment we first learned about money. Not the facts or the maths, but the feeling. Was it a sense of curiosity? Or did it feel tense and uncertain? Maybe it was hearing your parents argue behind a closed door. Maybe it was sensing that asking for new shoes was too much. These small moments stay with us, quietly shaping our beliefs for years to come.
We like to think of money as logical. But so much of what drives our financial choices is deeply emotional. Long before you had a bank account, your inner child was learning what money meant in your home. Was it a source of stress? Did it bring security or instability? Were there things you were told not to talk about?
And now, as an adult—perhaps even as someone running a business or holding space for others—you might still be carrying those early beliefs. The child within you still whispers old stories. Stories about safety. Stories about worth. Stories that might no longer be true.
What Did You Learn Without Realising It?
Your inner child didn’t learn about money from spreadsheets. She learned from tone. From what was said and what was not said. From watching, listening, absorbing.
Ask yourself:
- What did I see growing up when it came to money?
- How did my parents or caregivers speak about it, if at all?
- Was I taught that money was something to enjoy, to fear, or to avoid?
- Did I learn that asking for something was allowed, or something to feel guilty about?
These early imprints often live in the background of our financial lives. They show up when we undercharge. When we overspend. When we feel anxious at the thought of checking our accounts or uncertain about investing in ourselves.
What might those old stories be costing you now?
What Would it Look Like to Teach Yourself Something New?
Healing your relationship with money does not mean pretending your past did not happen. It means meeting it with understanding and deciding to create something new. You cannot go back and change what you learned, but you can offer your inner child the guidance she never received.
Start by asking:
- What does she need to hear today?
- What belief could I begin to shift?
- Can I hold space for both where I’ve been and where I want to go?
How Do You Begin to Reparent Your Financial Self?
This process begins with awareness, not shame. You do not need to fix everything. You just need to listen a little more closely.
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Notice the Emotional Triggers
Does spending leave you with guilt? Do you feel frozen when it comes to saving or planning for the future? These moments are not failures. They are invitations. What emotion is asking to be seen? -
Offer Yourself Compassion
How would you speak to a younger version of yourself who was just doing her best? Can you bring that same kindness to your present self, especially when you make mistakes or feel overwhelmed? -
Get Curious About Your Patterns
Instead of judging your behaviour, ask where it might come from. When you overgive, what are you hoping it will bring? When you avoid your bank statements, what are you protecting yourself from? These questions gently open the door to insight. -
Create Small, Safe Wins
Give your inner child new experiences. Set a boundary. Open the account. Track your spending with tenderness rather than fear. Let each step tell her, "You are safe now. You can do this."
Why Does This Matter in Your Business?
If you are an entrepreneur, your financial patterns will echo through your pricing, your spending, your willingness to invest in yourself, and your ability to receive. Do you find yourself hesitating to charge your worth? Do you feel discomfort when clients pay you with ease? Do you swing between control and avoidance when it comes to money?
These are not surface-level problems. They often trace back to deeper beliefs formed long ago.
How might your business shift if you felt safe with money? How might you show up differently if you no longer needed to prove your worth through hard work or people-pleasing? What would change if you believed that receiving could be simple and good?
You Are Allowed to Heal
Your early money story shaped you, but it does not define you. You can teach yourself a new story. One rooted in ease, in clarity, in confidence.
This is not about being perfect with money. It is about being present with yourself. It is about becoming the kind of guide you needed when you were small. Someone who knows that money is just a tool. Someone who knows that your worth is not up for debate.
What does your inner child need to hear from you today? What would change if you listened?
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